Living With My Own Personal Bad Haircut

People love to talk about the bad haircut they got months or weeks before. We all listen intently when they start talking. We lean in close and hold our breath as we hear the story unfold- the tragic click of the scissors, the hair hitting the floor, the unintentional bald spot. We sigh with relief because it isn't us. At this point we obligingly tell our friend how gorgeous they look now, how you could never tell, how beautifully her hair has grown out.

But have we never given much thought to the fact that we don't want to discuss the bad haircut immediately after it has happened? The one who has received the bad haircut goes out of her way to hide, to camouflage the distressed tresses. She finds new and inventive ways to wear a barrette or a headband. She becomes a hat girl when two days prior she swore she "would never wear hats!" She spends time on the web trying to find a miracle hair growth cure, the perfect pair of extensions, the top of the line, most realistic-looking wig. In the end, she lays herself at the feet of defeat, realizing that the only cure is time.

Her friends and co-workers on the other hand, dread seeing her. Not because she has developed a recently foul odor, but instead because they know she doesn't want them to admit the elephant in the room. When she rounds the corner at work; everyone in the immediate vicinity develops an amazing work ethic. Her husband, boyfriend or significant other doesn't know if they can take one more question that begs them to tell her, "It doesn't look that bad."

So you ignore the bad haircut and you stare intently in her eyes when she talks to you. You try to find reasons to be distracted or called away. In the end, everyone counts down the moments until the haircut from Hades is a distant memory.

Well, I am currently in the throes of one such horrible tress assault. I remember the day so clearly. I happily walked into my favorite salon, thoughts of amazing magazine cover hair floating through my head. And then it happened. My salon girl had someone else. I had hoped she wouldn't be busy, prayed that she would hold the chair just for me. But alas, I was not so lucky. I sat myself down with someone else, received a typical Brazilian Blow Out and waited for my substitute hair dresser to "trim" my ends. Somehow, my request was misunderstood. He instead decided that I should receive a brand new hair cut that would "blend" with my extensions.

DISASTER STRUCK??????.............................YES! I now have two separate haircuts on my head! No, it's not a "Kate plus 8", it's not a "mullet." Instead I have a layered bob in the front with side swept bangs, cute and trendy. But some evil spirit possessed the scissors and somehow decided to stop cutting my hair half way through. I ended up with a lovely blunt cut in the back. The blunt cut is nice and long, easily bendable with my extensions. Too bad the front is left on an island all its own.

"Why not use extensions to fix the different lengths?" Sounds great, except the fact that I have thin hair; therefore I cannot put any extensions above my ears due to the fact that they will show through. So for the next six months I will be braiding the front of my hair like a milk maid, pulling it back into a half ponytail, embracing the "front pouf." No one comments and they all avert their eyes. And I for one and grateful.