Hide the Scissors

There are some lessons in life that no woman can avoid. One of the most famous is not to cut your own bangs. We've all done it before and lived to regret it later. Every woman has a story about that one time she cut her own bangs. The humiliation is a shared experience in female culture, along with tips on hiding your folly with bobby pins.

I have what I consider to be one of the worst bang stories ever. No, this is not the time I cut them half an inch too short while wet (you know you've done it), or the time when I cut my eyelid trimming my bangs. This is the time I gave myself what was practically a bowl cut in my journey for bangs.

I've never had a lot of patience. The day I decide my hair needs trimming, it is crucial that I make an appointment before I start plundering the house for hair scissors (my mother hides them from me for this very reason.) This was one of those days. I was in the seventh grade, staring in the mirror at my inch-too-long bangs. I was old enough to know better, but my foolishness took over. I grabbed the scissors and began trimming away.

They look almost okay, but I couldn't settle. A couple snips and a whole lot of hair later, I looked into the mirror and screamed. My hair looked like a combination of a bowl cut and a mullet. What was I going to do?! My school had a strict no hats policy and it was too short for a pony tail. I rummaged through my drawer for bobby pins. As I feared, I couldn't find a single one. I looked at the clock. It was too late to beg my mom to take me to the store. I would have to face the cruel jungle that is middle school like this.

I somehow braved school, compulsively tucking my hair back, hoping no one would notice the catastrophe my head sported. After school I went to the hair salon praying there was something I could do to save my hair.

"Oh wow!" the dresser exclaimed. "What happened here?" I was so embarrassed that I lied and told her I was playing with gum and it got stuck in my hair. The moment I said it I realized how ridiculous that sounded. Playing with gum? Yes, that is what I do with my friends in my spare time. We play with gum in such a way that it sticks in my hair and forces me to cut off all the hair on the left side of my head.

She somehow managed a decent looking style. It was probably the worst hair cut I've ever had, but I can't complain. She didn't have much to work with. The saddest part of this whole story is that I am now 17 years-old and still cut my own bangs. That said, I have never given myself a bowl-mullet again. What I really took from this experience is less is more and make sure that when you lie to your hair dresser, it makes sense.